The Idol Runway

Two of my favorite reality shows are not doing great this season, folks, and it's breaking my heart.

Project Runway is actually having a very good season over on Lifetime, but I've had to miss three episodes in a row now, and honestly, I'm not missing them. The talent level is certainly high, and some of the contestants are even appealing characters. Even the challenges are raising the bar (though the last two were a little too vague for my tastes, one even directly stealing from a season five challenge). So why am I not interested?

Simply put, I feel as though last season poisoned the brand for me. Do I enjoy watching? Sure. But this isn't the highly entertaining, fun-to-follow show it once was. It's merely a shadow of it's former self. As a result, only one season after starting it, the Project Runway aspect of this blog is shut down. I'll still talk about the show, and I might even do some more extensive coverage for the finale, but the week-to-week stuff is dead and buried.

As far as this season is concerned, I think Jay, Seth Aaron, and Emilio are probably the safest bets for the finale. Sure, they've all had low points, but so have all the others (except Maya, who didn't even show at Fashion Week), and some of them, particularly Anthony and Jonathan, just don't seem like viable winners. And Mila... well, I'm never sure what to think of Mila.

Meanwhile, over on American Idol, the show has cleaned up its act from last year, but the talent level is way down. Crystal Bowersox and Siobhan Magnus are lighting the stage on fire every week, and if things progress similarly, they'll all be fine, but woe to the show if neither of the ladies win this season...

That's Good.

As a general rule, I hate CBS' typical crime procedurals (think CSI: and Cold Case). While I like a good detective case as much as the next person, procedurals today are all very predictable and not too entertaining. (Save, of course, The Closer, but I almost don't classify that character-based show as a procedural.)

Imagine my pleasant surprise, then, when CBS introduced The Good Wife last fall. I watched the pilot episode, assured that I would be entertained at the least, if not enthralled or enraptured.

Turns out, I was all of the above. Julianna Marguiles of ER fame leads a phenomenal cast in this truly oustanding drama series that defies the parameters of "procedural" and "serial," preferring instead to be a "procereal," an amalgamation of the two.

For those who don't know, Good is about Alicia Florrick, a State's Attorney's wife scorned after her husband, Peter, played by Sex and the City's Mr. Big, Chris Noth, is caught with a prostitute, and also thrown into prison for corruption. Since he was the primary breadwinner while she was raising their two kids, 15-year old Zach and 14-year old Grace, Alicia must go back to work as a lawyer, starting as a junior associate. At her law firm, Stern, Lockhart, and Gardner, there's only one position for a junior associate, so she must compete with Matt Czuchry's Cary Agos, an ambitious first-year lawyer, for the spot. Populating the firm are legal assistant Kalinda Sharma and partners Will Gardner and Diane Lockhart.

Beyond the superb writing that blends elements of the Florrick's home lives with the case of the week effortlessly, the cast of Good is incredibly dynamic, and each brings something truly special to the table. Christine Baranski, who could have played Diane as cold and unfeeling, instead chose to inject a little warmth, as evidenced by her soon-to-be Emmy-winning work in a recent episode courting a ballistics expert as much to the right as she is to the left. Josh Charles, perhaps best known for his role in Dead Poets' Society, uses that same boyish charm combined with a quick wit to play Will as a character both mischevious and good-hearted. Archie Panjabi imbues Kalinda with such inner strength and mystery that it is impossible not to fall in love with her. Czuchry, of both I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Gilmore Girls, is pure genius in his role, gamely competing and growing to like Alicia while still being the slightest bit underhanded. And his scene on shrooms was, to put it succinctly, sublime.

But it is Marguiles as a wounded woman hellbent on making things right for her family that truly shines. I was never a fan of ER, and so I was unfamiliar with Marguiles before this, but if she was half as good in that role as she is in this one, her Emmy is wholeheartedly deserved. Alicia isn't sure what she wants out of life, necessitating a sense of both bewilderment and purpose in what is in front of her, a skill which most actresses wouldn't be able to pull off. Marguiles does it with aplomb.

Entertainment Weekly recently declared The Good Wife the best show currently on television. At first, I was hesitant to agree, what with Damages and Glee in the middle of phenomenal seasons right now--and that's not even thinking about the indescribably good Mad Men!--but now I'm warming up to their line of thinking. Punch for punch, Good is just that: it's just plain good.

The Awkwards! Honoring the Best in Film from 2008 (Retroactively)

Boys and girls, I have so much blogging to catch up on!

If I get everything done that I want to by the end of tomorrow, I should have four posts up for this weekend. And only one has to do with awards. Back to sanity, kids!

I had so much fun handing out the Awkwards! a few weeks ago, I decided that since I had covered the 81st Academy Awards as well, I should do a set of awards for those films. So I am. I can award them. I have the technology.

A reminder: Unlike the Oscars, I only have 10 categories (this is an abbreviated version for one-time use only), and I only use six of the Academy's categories. Some are more fun than others, but overall, I want to capture all aspects of a film in these categories that may have not as much to do with the technical work, but what, as an audience member, we appreciate.

I also award 5th through 1st. The only other rule I have is that one performer can't be nominated twice in one category. So without further ado, let's get started!

Best Ensemble
1st: Burn After Reading
2nd: The Class
3rd: Doubt
4th: Vicky Cristina Barcelona
5th: Rachel Getting Married

Best Individual Scene
1st: The Interrogation, The Dark Knight
2nd: Conversing with Mrs. Miller, Doubt
3rd: Chad's Shooting, Burn After Reading
4th: The Late Night Phone Call, Frost/Nixon
5th: The Taj Mahal, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Supporting Actor
1st: Brad Pitt, Burn After Reading
2nd: Aaron Eckhart, The Dark Knight
3rd: Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road
4th: Kevin Bacon, Frost/Nixon
5th: John Malkovitch, Burn After Reading

(Looking for Heath Ledger? He's a lead in my book, so look in that category.)

Best Individual Line
1st: "I thought you might be worried... about the security... of your shit." Burn After Reading
2nd: "You...complete me!" The Dark Knight
3rd: "I'm not talking about talent. I said 'genius.' Gee-nius." Vicky Cristina Barcelona
4th: "I hate you. You were just some boy who made me laugh at a party once, and now I loathe the sight of you." Revolutionary Road
5th: "I have doubts! I have such doubts!" Doubt

Best Supporting Actress
1st: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
2nd: Viola Davis, Doubt
3rd: Rosemarie Dewitt, Rachel Getting Married
4th: Tilda Swinton, Burn After Reading
5th: Debra Winger, Rachel Getting Married

Best Title
1st: Slumdog Millionaire
2nd: Rachel Getting Married
3rd: Vicky Cristina Barcelona
4th: Burn After Reading
5th: The Wrestler

Best Actor
1st: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
2nd: Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
3rd: Sean Penn, Milk
4th: Michael Sheen, Frost/Nixon
5th: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt

Best Actress
1st: Meryl Streep, Doubt
2nd: Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road
3rd: Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
4th: Frances McDormand, Burn After Reading
5th: Rebecca Hall, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Director
1st: Jonathan Demme, Rachel Getting Married
2nd: Laurent Cantet, The Class
3rd: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
4th: Christopher Nolan, The Dark Knight
5th: Woody Allen, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Picture
1st: Doubt
2nd: Vicky Cristina Barcelona
3rd: Rachel Getting Married
4th: Burn After Reading
5th: Slumdog Millionaire

And here's the nomination count:

8 nominations
Burn After Reading (3 wins)

7 nominations
Doubt (2 wins)
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (1 win)

5 nominations
Rachel Getting Married (1 win)
The Dark Knight (2 wins)

4 nominations
Slumdog Millionaire (1 win)
Frost/Nixon

2 nominations
The Class
Revolutionary Road

1 nomination
The Wrestler
Milk

This was a year when the supposed clear winner (Burn After Reading with 8 nominations and 2 wins) lost out to another favorite of mine (Doubt is in my Top Five films of all time, after all). Revolutionary Road had a really strong showing despite my hatred for the film. And though I like to retcon my opinions of Slumdog Millionaire and The Dark Knight, this list proves what is painfully obvious: both films were accomplished, interesting, appealing, and instant classics.

What about you guys? What did you think of 2008? What did I miss? Take it to the comments!

YIKES!

What the hell happened? After doing so well all season long, things took a very dark, very unfortunate turn last night, with my predictions landing at 13/24 instead of last year's much-better 18/24. (Remember: I don't count alternates seriously, but just to note how close I really was: 21/24 if you include real "Could Win" picks. 8 more!) This might have been a case of desperate self-doubt.

Pre-Show
I had totally forgotten how awesome of a person Tom Ford was. (See his cameo in Zoolander for further evidence.) But his voice is a booming basso profundo that accentuates the end of his words. Just like Oprah!

Who did Vera Farmiga vote for Best Director? Eventual winner Kathryn Bigelow! Of course, when she said who she was voting for, I'm sure she simply forgot that her director, Jason Reitman, was even nominated. It's not that she just thinks he's a jerk (which is the totally true version of events). Side note: Farmiga easily wins my Best Dressed of the night. Her Marchesa gown was intricate, fascinating, and truly radiant.

I seem to be the only one who disliked Sandra Bullock's dress. I'll give you that her makeup and hair were immaculate, and I loved some of the gold dresses on the red carpet, but her Marchesa was gold, stretchy, and gaudy. I just didn't think it was all that great. In fact, I really hated it. Not my least favorite, but I didn't think it was anything to write home about.

Now Charlize Theron's dress: that was the worst. Cotton candy boobs, much?

The Show
I didn't like the show on the whole. There were moments I really enjoyed, like some of hosts Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's quips about Meryl Streep ("What's with all the Hitler memorabilia?"), but on the whole, it was unremarkable at best and boring at worst.

...and that's all I'm gonna say about that. You can look elsewhere for commentary on the show--I'm not a reviewer. I'm an Oscarologist.

The Awards
You can figure out for yourself which awards I missed, but suffice it to say that I really screwed up in the Shorts categories, going 0/3, and then missing a couple of key wins that, in retrospect, seemed obvious: Best Actress, Best Original Screenplay, and the Sound categories. But I was thrilled to miss Best Adapted Screenplay--Geoffrey Fletcher wholeheartedly deserved that award (especially over überbitch Jason Reitman) for Precious, and we can't forget that Kathryn Bigelow's win wasn't the only history made: Fletcher is the first black screenwriter to win an Oscar. Cool, huh?

I was thrilled with The Hurt Locker's dominance, especially with regard to Best Director, which, let's be real, was a freaking awesome moment. I don't understand how anyone could hate Bigelow. She's so deserving. (And for the apathetic males, also incredibly hot.)

The acting wins were all expected, but that doesn't make the Oscars for Mo'Nique and Christoph Waltz any less deserving and absolutely perfect. With Jeff Bridges, I was happy that the man finally has an Oscar, but his was only the third-best performance in this category I had seen this year, so I'm not sure how to feel about it. (Sorry, Colin Firth...)

Avatar got pretty owned, with the likes of Precious winning only one less Oscar (and its two Oscars were in top-tier categories, unlike Blue Pocahontas'). In a word: awesome.

After the Oscar season has cooled, I don't like looking back much, so that's why this is so short. I'm already looking at next year (Never Let Me Go is currently on my radar), as things always go in the Oscar world: after the ceremony is over, next year has already begun.

Remember to Watch the OSCARS Tonight on ABC at 7:30!

Obviously, the Oscars are tonight. What has seemed like both a volatile and calm awards season comes to an end when the final envelope is read and a film legend (probably) tells us that "The Oscar goes to..."

Ah, the "..." Who will be our big winner tonight? Could it really be Avatar, which I seem to have absolutely no faith in? Or could it be The Hurt Locker the would-be frontrunner if it weren't such an odd year? Inglourious Basterds could pull a Crash-sized upset (it has the crucial SAG Ensemble award, after all), or even Precious could appeal to the emotional Academy members. And what to make of Up in the Air? Its buzz totally vanished, but it doesn't have many haters. Could it squeak by on the preferential voting system?

All I know is that this is one of the strangest Oscar seasons in history, and my predictions could go 24/24 tonight, or they could go 16/24. It's that kind of year. So many different scenarios could play out, and this isn't just the Best Picture category. I'm still unconvinced that we're looking at a sure thing win for Sandra Bullock in Best Actress, despite so many pundits' insistence to the contrary. In fact, in a year when the acting categories seem like such locks (who truly believes we won't see Mo'Nique, Christoph Waltz, and Jeff Bridges all walk away happy tonight?), Best Actress just seems like a potential minefield that has everybody worried. Yes, most pundits are predicting Bullock, but there's plenty of love out there in the Academy for Carey Mulligan, Gabourey Sidibe, and of course the legend who has gone 27 years and 11 nominations without winning, Meryl Streep. (Oh, and Helen Mirren is in the race, too. I think.)

In honor of the volatility of the race, I'm reposting my nominations (unchanged), plus "Could Win" picks: in other words, possible upsets. They won't be counted in my overall record, but they're there to represent the possible twists and turns this race could take. Do I have faith in my picks? Absolutely. I have followed this race since April, and I think I have a secure grasp on what will happen. My nomination predictions were strong, beating out some of the better Oscarologists on the web, and some risks that I took (keeping Matt Damon and Penelope Cruz; believing in District 9's ardent fans to get it a Best Picture nomination) really paid off. The only major risks I'm taking in the big categories are in Original Screenplay and Actress, choosing Streep and Tarantino instead of Bullock and Boal, though even those picks aren't unheard of. Things get dicier in some of the tech categories, especially Makeup, Cinematography, and the Short categories. Like I said, things could go two very different ways, or even somewhere in the middle. It's all a house of cards.

For those I usually text with during the Oscar ceremony, I'm really sorry to say I don't have my phone with me at the moment. However, I will try to check the comments sections on both the Awkward is What We Aim For blog and Facebook, though I actually can't respond on Facebook (my technological capabilities are severely diminished when I don't have my phone). Any comments or questions you have can go either place, and I will do my best to get back to you.

I hope (for everyone's sake) that things turn out well tonight. Not everyone's favorite can win, but perhaps we can get a result that will placate as many as possible.

...as long as Sandra doesn't win. Because a single drunk dance at the Chinese Chopstick Buffet/rave doesn't forgive her Southern drawl. (Thanks, newly bespectacled Miguel Ramirez!)

Best Documentary Feature
Will Win: The Cove
Could Win: Food, Inc.

Best Documentary Short
Will Win: The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant
Could Win: ANYTHING. My guesses in the Short categories are purely conjecture.

Best Animated Short
Will Win: A Matter of Loaf and Death
Could Win: Logorama

Best Foreign Film
Will Win: A Prophet (Un Prophéte)
Could Win: El Secreto de Sus Ojos

Best Makeup
Will Win: The Young Victoria
Could Win: Star Trek

Best Live Action Short
Will Win: The Door
Could Win: Kavi

Best Cinematography
Will Win: The White Ribbon
Could Win: Avatar

Side note: I feel a little crazy legitimately picking The White Ribbon, but to me, the whole thing just screams cinematography.

Best Film Editing
Will Win: The Hurt Locker
Could Win: Avatar

Best Sound Editing
Will Win: Avatar
Could Win: The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Mixing
Will Win: Avatar
Could Win: The Hurt Locker

Best Visual Effects
Will Win: Avatar
Could Win: Yeah, like Blue Pocahontas is gonna lose here.

Best Costume Design
Will Win: The Young Victoria
Could Win: Coco Before Chanel (Coco Avant Chanel)

Best Art Direction
Will Win: Avatar
Could Win: The Young Victoria (but it won't happen)

Best Original Score
Will Win: UP
Could Win: Avatar

Best Original Song
Will Win: "The Weary Kind," Crazy Heart
Could Win: Have you heard the other songs? This one is undefeatable.

Best Animated Feature
Will Win: UP
Could Win: Fantastic Mr. Fox

Best Original Screenplay
Will Win: Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino
Could Win: The Hurt Locker, Mark Boal

Best Adapted Screenplay
Will Win: Up in the Air, Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner
Could Win: Precious, Geoffrey Fletcher

Best Director
Will Win: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Could Win: James Cameron, Avatar

Best Supporting Actress
Will Win: Mo'Nique, Precious
Could Win: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart

Best Supporting Actor
Will Win: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Could Win: Christopher Plummer, The Last Station

Best Actress
Will Win: Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
Could Win: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

Best Actor
Will Win: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Could Win: Colin Firth, A Single Man

Best Picture
Will Win: The Hurt Locker
Could Win: Inglourious Basterds

"Why is no one read-yyy?"

I have to admit, boys and girls, I was a little dismayed that no one picked up on the awesome Oscar Predictions contest I threw down last weekend. After all, I am offering a gift package filled with candy and an Oscar movie that would surely be awesome.

I am reposting the contest as a 12-category contest, along with a slight tweaking in predictions (calm down, it's one pick). The contest is open until noon on Sunday, and as long as your predictions are posted somewhere in plain sight on Facebook (either my Wall, the comments section on this post or Pick Yer Horses 2009, etc.) The categories you should pick in are marked with an asterisk.

Good luck to all competitors!

Best Documentary Feature
Will Win: The Cove

Best Documentary Short
Will Win: The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant

Best Animated Short
Will Win: A Matter of Loaf and Death

*Best Foreign Film
Will Win: A Prophet (Un Prophéte)

Best Makeup
Will Win: The Young Victoria

Best Live Action Short
Will Win: The Door

Best Cinematography
Will Win: The White Ribbon

Best Film Editing
Will Win: The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Editing
Will Win: Avatar

Best Sound Mixing
Will Win: Avatar

Best Visual Effects
Will Win: Avatar

Best Costume Design
Will Win: The Young Victoria

Best Art Direction
Will Win: Avatar

*Best Original Score
Will Win: UP

*Best Original Song
Will Win: "The Weary Kind," Crazy Heart

*Best Animated Feature
Will Win: UP

*Best Original Screenplay
Will Win: Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino

*Best Adapted Screenplay
Will Win: Up in the Air, Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

*Best Director
Will Win: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

*Best Supporting Actress
Will Win: Mo'Nique, Precious

*Best Supporting Actor
Will Win: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

*Best Actress
Will Win: Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

*Best Actor
Will Win: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

*Best Picture
Will Win: The Hurt Locker

Lay it Out

What do you think of the new layout? Leave some feedback in the comments, if you care. (It's totally okay if you don't. We can still be friends. But you probably won't be invited to my birthday party.)

The Supporting Actress Smackdown!

I wrote a piece for this site a few weeks back, and the blogger, Brian, AKA StinkyLulu, was kind enough to invite me to his annual "Supporting Actress Smackdown!" You can read my opinions, as well as the opinions of seven other bloggers, about the five Best Supporting Actress nominees. If you've been paying any attention at all this awards season, you know exactly who wins, but there are a few interesting discrepancies between what I think and what some others think. Follow the link and enjoy! And make sure to comment while you're there!

Click here to see the StinkyLulu Supporting Actress Smackdown!

Pick Yer Horses 2009

Is it really predictions time again? I feel like this Oscar season just crept up on me, even though I think about it almost every day. Contradictory? Maybe. I'm not a psychologist. I can't explain my own psyche.

Whatever the case, I'm offering the same deal as last year: a gift package including candy, candy, more candy, and an Oscar-winning film for anyone who can beat my predicitons. Of course, that's a tall order--matching me won't get you anything. You have to win. (Sorry, small but loyal band of blog followers--though you're welcome to predict against me, this prize offer is only available to friends on Facebook.)

The movie this year will be either--

A) Citizen Kane
B) Crash
C) The Departed
D) Slumdog Millionaire
E) American Beauty

If you beat me by enough (more than two), I'll even let you pick the movie!

As was the case last year, I'm not offering any more analysis--this post is purely prediction and prophecy (though I am also analyzing the Best Picture race, because I haven't done that yet).

I'm predicting all 24 categories this year. If you want nomination lists, they're available almost anywhere: The Film Experience, In Contention, and, of course, Wikipedia have them easily available. Best of luck! Check out my first 23 predictions, followed by a big section on Best Picture, below.

(Quick correction: I've been referring to Precious' screenwriter as Damien Paul all season, but the writer is actually Geoffrey Fletcher. I apologize for the error.)

Best Documentary Feature
Will Win: The Cove

Best Documentary Short
Will Win: The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant

Best Animated Short
Will Win: Logorama

Best Foreign Film
Will Win: A Prophet (Un Prophéte)

Best Makeup
Will Win: The Young Victoria

Best Live Action Short
Will Win: The Door

Best Cinematography
Will Win: The White Ribbon

Best Film Editing
Will Win: The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Editing
Will Win: Avatar

Best Sound Mixing
Will Win: Avatar

Best Visual Effects
Will Win: Avatar

Best Costume Design
Will Win: The Young Victoria

Best Art Direction
Will Win: Avatar

Best Original Score
Will Win: UP

Best Original Song
Will Win: "The Weary Kind," Crazy Heart

Best Animated Feature
Will Win: UP

Best Original Screenplay
Will Win: Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino

Best Adapted Screenplay
Will Win: Up in the Air, Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

Best Director
Will Win: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

Best Supporting Actress
Will Win: Mo'Nique, Precious

Best Supporting Actor
Will Win: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Best Actress
Will Win: Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Best Actor
Will Win: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

Best Picture
It comes down to this, folks. This year's Best Picture category could go in directions none of us expected, or it could wind up going exactly the way everyone expected. There are so many variables: almost ever-shifting buzz from Up in the Air to Precious to Avatar to The Hurt Locker to now last-minute buzz for Inglourious Basterds of all things, the preferential balloting that could favor second or third place votes more than first place votes, and a field as diverse as most have ever seen.

The Hurt Locker would seem to be the frontrunner after winning most important precursor awards (the PGA and DGA chief among others), but a recent scandal involving a producer sending emails directly to Academy members threatened the campaign momentarily. However, most ballots were already turned in, so I'm not considering that a real story. In fact, the Locker folks have run an incredibly strong campaign all season long, and have never seemed anything but gracious. I say this is their race to lose, but they just might.

Avatar is supposedly much stronger in this race than I have considered it to be throughout the later stages of this season. Search me. To me, this will always be Dances with Na'vi, and I don't think I can ever get over that fact. Plus, I feel like this movie is a big "f*** you" to writers--we don't need you! We've got pretty effects! As a writer, especially one going to school for screenwriting, that really offends me. But I'm supposed to divorce myself from my personal feelings, and I am--that's why Blue Pocahontas isn't number 10 on this list. I think it's probably in second place, but being second isn't necessarily any better than being in third when the preferential ballot is concerned.

The reason for that is the same as why I still can't shake this nagging feeling that Inglourious Basterds will be our Best Picture winner next Sunday. In order to fully explain this, though, I'm going to have to stage a simulated balloting. I'm going to use a sample of 1,000 voters to best explain this.

Let's say, just tabulating first-place votes, the voting breaks down as such:

The Hurt Locker: 300
America Hates Blue People: 200
Inglourious Basterds: 100
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire: 75
Up in the Air: 70
An Education: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire: 55
A Serious Man (Who Isn't Single): 50
The Blind Side (Though You'd Have to Be Blind to Vote for This Movie): 50
UP: 49
Whatever Movie We Chose With the 9 in It: 1

The movie titles show you how cynical Oscar season makes me. Okay, so, after one round of balloting, District 86 falls off the radar, and whichever movie was ranked No. 2 on its ballots (er, ballot) gets its votes. Since they're both sci-fi films, we'll assume District's vote(s) go to I'm With Bluesy.

The Hurt Locker: 300
Avatar: 201
Inglourious Basterds: 100
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire: 75
Up in the Air: 70
An Education: 55
A Serious Man: 50
The Blind Side: 50
UP: 49

The next round of balloting, Pixar Shoots at Kids gets knocked off, and we can assume 9 of its votes go to the similarly-animated Avatar ('motion capture' my ass), while the other 40 go to the "family friendly" Always Look at the Blind Side of Life.

The Hurt Locker: 300
Avatar: 210
Inglourious Basterds: 100
The Blind Side: 90
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire: 75
Up in the Air: 70
An Education: 55
A Serious Man: 50

Wow, am I cynical about all this. Okay, all of A Serious Headache's votes go to the similarly indie An Education...

The Hurt Locker: 300
Avatar: 210
An Education: 105
Inglourious Basterds: 100
The Blind Side: 90
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire: 75
Up in the Air: 70

...and this is where things take a real turn. Flying with George Clooney's fans are probably all fans of Tarantino, as well, and so its votes go to Engloryuss Basters.

The Hurt Locker: 300
Avatar: 210
Inglourious Basterds: 170
An Education: 105
The Blind Side: 90
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' By Sapphire: 75

Same goes for the very divisive We Made Oprah Cry: Based on the Novel 'Pull' By Emerald.

The Hurt Locker: 300
Inglourious Basterds: 245
Avatar: 210
An Education: 105
The Blind Side: 90

Let's assume Sandra Goes Blonde's fans all love the box office success without a massive budget, so those votes go to Iyng&aea## Basterds as well.

Inglourious Basterds: 335
The Hurt Locker: 300
Avatar: 210
An Education: 105

Look what just took the lead! Now, let's give all of An Education's votes to the other indie, Why Did We Name Our Movie 'The Hurt Locker?'...

The Hurt Locker: 405
Inglourious Basterds: 335
Avatar: 210

...and then give Blue Man Group on Pandora's votes to the similar box office hit I Failed Spelling in 3rd Grade.

Inglourious Basterds: 545
The Hurt Locker: 405

Look what just won! I mean, the real voting obviously won't go this way, but it shows how Inglourious could very easily win. Here's the one caveat, though: as soon as a movie has 50% + 1 of the votes (the majority), that film is Best Picture. If something massively popular like Avatar can wrap this up early, it has a shot at making all this paranoia about the voting system all for nothing.

As far as the other Best Picture candidates are concerned, I don't think this system helps their chances much. Precious and Up in the Air could, in theory, appeal to the emotional sides of voters and pull a huge upset, but past that, the remaining films, The Blind Side, UP, An Education, District 9, and A Serious Man, aren't quite respected enough nor rewarded enough to pull out the win. As far as my prediction is concerned...

Best Picture
Will Win: The Hurt Locker

But know that I am not sure at all of that prediction.

If you're interested in making a run at my predictions for the prize, leave a comment with your full ballot in the comments section of this note on Facebook. One entry per person only, so once you've entered, you're stuck with your picks. If you're only interested in playing for the fun of it, leave a comment on the blog at http://awkwardaim.blogspot.com. Picks for prizes are due at 12:00 PM on Sunday, March 7. The Academy Awards are that night at 7:30.

Good luck to everyone in their predictions! This tumultuous season comes to an end in just eight days!

The Awkwards! Honoring the Best in Film from 2009

UPDATE: I apologize for how much of a pain in the ass this was to read before. I've respaced the posting so that it may not be quite so difficult to read. Also, if you don't have an account on this site, you can still feel free to comment just by going to the comments section, selecting "Post a Comment," and selecting a name of your choice.

Remember how I said I don't like handing out "bests," boys and girls? Well, I lied!

Going back 100% on my earlier statement, today I will be handing out the inaugural Awkwards, honoring the best in film from the past year according to the staff of the soon-to-be-hopefully-maybe-not-but-thanks-for-asking-famous blog Awkward is What We Aim For: namely, me!

Unlike the Oscars, I only have 14 categories, and I only use six of the Academy's (technically, seven, but I use slightly different criterion for my Best Artistic Direction award). Some are more fun than others, but overall, I want to capture all aspects of a film in these categories that may have not as much to do with the technical work, but what, as an audience member, we appreciate.

I also award 5th through 1st, so no one feels left out. After all, these are by far the most important awards given out this season... (*snigger*... did I just snigger at myself?) The only other rule I have is that one performer can't be nominated twice in one category. So without further ado, let's get started with a fun one...

Best Ensemble
Away We Go
An Education
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

5th Place: The small but special cast from Up in the Air.

4th Place: Great character actors show the protagonists all their possible futures in Away We Go.

3rd Place: The Europeans, Americans, and the incomparable Christoph Waltz all rock in Inglourious Basterds.

2nd Place: I dare you to try to ignore the passionate women of Precious.

1st Place: Each member of the cast brings something special to the table in An Education.

Best Individual Scene
The First Nightclub, An Education
The Supermarket, The Hurt Locker
Mary's Confession, Precious
The Phone Scene, A Single Man
Natalie's Hotel Lobby Breakdown, Up in the Air

5th Place: Watching an adrenaline junkie deal with the everyday doldrums is heartbreaking in The Hurt Locker.

4th Place: The sights and sounds of the nightclub are overwhelming for Jenny in An Education.

3rd Place: Anna Kendrick delivers the best comedic breakdown in recent memory in Up in the Air.

2nd Place: Precious' climax doesn't allow you much time to recover, but what an incredible confession.

1st Place: George's life is turned upside down by one phone call in A Single Man.

Best Supporting Actor
John Krasinski, It's Complicated
Anthony Mackie, The Hurt Locker
Alfred Molina, An Education
Stanley Tucci, Julie & Julia
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

5th Place: Mackie was pitch-perfect and a true support for Jeremy Renner in his role as Sgt. Sanborn.

4th Place: Krasinski was having the time of his life outfunnying Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin at every turn.

3rd Place: Pain and pleasure are difficult to portray so well and so winningly, but Molina does it with aplomb.

2nd Place: Tucci's Oscar-nominated turn in The Lovely Bones can't hold a candle to his sweetly supportive husband to Julia Child opposite Meryl Streep.

1st Place: There's just no competition for the magnificent, mellifluous Waltz as Col. Hans Landa.

Best Individual Line
An Education
Inglourious Basterds
It's Complicated
Precious
A Single Man

5th Place: "It takes time in the morning for me to become George." One of the first lines from Firth in A Single Man sticks with you long after you've left the theater.

4th Place: "Real women sacrifice!" Mary Jones claims she's a real woman in Precious, but she's nothing but a monster.

3rd Place: "It’s not enough to educate us anymore, you’ve got to tell us why you’re doing it." Jenny so desperately seeks An Education of a different kind, but she makes a few missteps along the way.

2nd Place: "That's a bingo!" Landa's evil is infectious in Inglourious Basterds.

1st Place: "I'm a bit of a slut." Jane knows the affair is wrong, but just so right, in It's Complicated.

Best Supporting Actress
Emily Blunt, Sunshine Cleaning
Mo'Nique, Precious
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Rosamund Pike, An Education
Paula Patton, Precious

5th Place: Patton loves Precious so deeply, but she can't seem to save her.

4th Place: Blunt's American accent could have been the only neat thing about her performance in Sunshine Cleaning, but oh, did she do so much more with that role.

3rd Place: She's more than a ditz: Pike is both hilarious and surprisingly complex in An Education.

2nd Place: Natalie Keener may be Kendrick's breakout role, but she made it so much more fascinating than a simple ingenue.

1st Place: Mo'Nique is in a category of her own as the monstrous mother of Precious.

Best Use of Music
Crazy Heart
An Education
Nine
A Single Man
Up in the Air

5th Place: "Be... Italian..." Sure, the movie sucked, but the music sure was great in Nine.

4th Place: From the funky title sequence, Jason Reitman proves yet again what a master hand he is with music in film in Up in the Air.

3rd Place: The strings are as beautiful as the story in A Single Man.

2nd Place: "You've Got Me Wrapped Around Your Little Finger" is the irresistible heart of An Education.

1st Place: Bad Blake's mournful "The Weary Kind" makes Crazy Heart all the better.

Best Title
(500) Days of Summer
An Education
Inglourious Basterds
It’s Complicated
Julie & Julia

5th Place: You get the focus of Julie & Julia through its title, but that title is witty and fun nonetheless.

4th Place: Calling to mind the most ridiculous Facebook relationship status, It's Complicated perfectly encapsulates the central conflict.

3rd Place: Jenny's search for An Education seems simple in its title, but the complexity lies just beneath the surface.

2nd Place: Inventive, quirky, and intriguing, (500) Days of Summer's title is everything the movie is as well.

1st Place: What else? Misspellings and all, Inglourious Basterds' title is pure genius.

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Brad Pitt, Inglourious Basterds
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker
Peter Sarsgaard, An Education

5th Place: Slippery, manipulative, and all-too-perfect, Sarsgaard played his role as I wish Vera Farmiga had played hers in Up in the Air.

4th Place: His celebrity often causes me to forget how fun it is to watch Pitt create indelible characters like Lt. Aldo Raine.

3rd Place: Though it didn't appeal to me in the way it did for so many others, I did love seeing a washed-up Bridges sing (literally) for his life.

2nd Place: Kathryn Bigelow may have crafted The Hurt Locker masterfully, but Renner gave it real heart.

1st Place: The only film performance I can remember that brought me to tears, Firth is an emotional victim trapped in memory in Tom Ford's directorial debut.

Best Onscreen Chemistry
Zooey Deschanel & Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (500) Days of Summer
John Krasinski & Maya Rudolph, Away We Go
Jeff Bridges & Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Alec Baldwin & Meryl Streep, It's Complicated
Anna Kendrick & George Clooney, Up in the Air

5th Place: They're destined not to be together, which is sad, because there was a true charm to Bridges and Gyllenhaal's relationship in Crazy Heart.

4th Place: Snobby? Perhaps. Whiny? Definitely. But Krasinski and Rudolph are winningly charming in Away We Go.

3rd Place: He loves her, but she just likes him. The back-and-forth is always fun between these two hipster gods.

2nd Place: The over-50 set can be just as frisky and fun as young kids. Just ask Streep and Baldwin!

1st Place: The whiplash-inducing speed of their dialogue is just half the charm of Kendrick and Clooney. They also have a genuine, platonic affection that is so much more genuine than the chemistry between Clooney and Farmiga.

Best Artistic Direction
Avatar
An Education
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Single Man

5th Place: Gritty and difficult to swallow at times, Precious' ambience amplifies the desperation of the characters.

4th Place: The color trick doesn't always work, but on that final fade-out, damn if A Single Man didn't create an artistic finale to remember.

3rd Place: The art direction is crazy and schizophrenic, just like Quentin Tarantino, and just like Inglourious Basterds.

2nd Place: There's a calm to An Education, despite the turbulent time period of the '60s so well-recreated for the screen.

1st Place: Yes, the story did suck, but Avatar's new world, Pandora, truly did show incredible artistic vision.

Best Actress
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Melanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

5th Place: It's hardly a supporting role; in fact, Gyllenhaal is the emotional anchor of Crazy Heart.

4th Place: She's mysterious in a way that Farmiga couldn't approach: Laurent is a revelation onscreen.

3rd Place: Sidibe throws up emotional walls and locks the world out in a way never before seen in a film.

2nd Place: Streep is always a force to be reckoned with onscreen, but her Julia Child is simply a delight.

1st Place: She may be a newer debut, but Mulligan proved herself as this generation's Audrey Hepburn in a brilliant star performance.

Best Finale
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Single Man
Up in the Air

5th Place: Life is an interminable cycle for Sgt. William James in The Hurt Locker's heartbreaking ending.

4th Place: So many possibilities are presented to Ryan Bingham in such an intriguing way as Up in the Air ends.

3rd Place: It's fun and funny, but Inglourious Basterds' ending is also completely appropriate.

2nd Place: She may not sing "Jai Ho," but that's because Precious' small step into a new life doesn't come in a grand sweep like Jamal's did in Slumdog Millionaire.

1st Place: Ironic, twisted, and in many ways, absolutely necessary, A Single Man's ending brings you to tears.

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Lee Daniels, Precious
Tom Ford, A Single Man
Lone Scherfig, An Education
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

5th Place: It smells somewhat of student work, but Ford's directorial debut is moving and intriguing.

4th Place: Scherfig proves with her extremely likeable film that Bigelow isn't the only talented female director this year.

3rd Place: Daniels knows that the acting is the heart of a film, and he directs two undeniable female dynamos, along with countless other strong supporting performances.

2nd Place: He's the master of crazy: Tarantino manages to top even himself with Inglourious Basterds.

1st Place: Women can make movies just as well as men, as Bigelow proves with her directorial tour-de-force.

Best Picture
An Education
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Single Man
Up in the Air

Isn't it nice to see only five nominees? It's fairly obvious which five movies were my favorites this year from the other nominees; in case you were wondering, the other five in a group of ten would have been The Hurt Locker, It's Complicated, Sunshine Cleaning, Crazy Heart, and Away We Go.

In 5th Place: Somewhat surprisingly, Inglourious Basterds. Though it reaped a total of 10 nominations, it wasn't always greater than the sum of all its parts, though it was still an incredible movie.

In 4th Place: Precious. It wasn't afraid of telling you exactly what this world is like. If only all movies were as brave.

In 3rd Place: Up in the Air had a magic that can't be exactly defined, but charms you every time you watch.

In 2nd Place: A Single Man is a beautiful character study, and each moment enraptures you. You miss it instantly when it's over.

The Awkward for Best Picture of 2009 goes to: An Education. Somehow, I have a knack for loving movies that for others doesn't have the same appeal. But to me, the Lone Scherfig film is indelible, intriguing, and ultimately satisfying. Like Doubt last year (which would have been my Best Picture of 2008), An Education isn't flashy or over-directed like some films (Avatar), nor does it star some huge A-lister that gives the "Performance of a Lifetime" (Milk). Most of all, it doesn't rely on an artificially happy ending to lift your spirits (sorry, Slumdog!). Instead, it simply is what it is, and hopes to please you without pretending to be something it isn't. It truly is my favorite film from this past year.

If you only count the six Oscar categories (the acting, directing, and Best Picture contests), the nomination tally would look like this:

6 nominations
An Education

5 nominations
Precious
Inglourious Basterds

3 nominations
A Single Man
The Hurt Locker

2 nominations
Up in the Air
Crazy Heart
Julie & Julia

1 nomination
Sunshine Cleaning
It's Complicated

And if you count all the categories, the count is revised to:

12 nominations
An Education

10 nominations
Precious
Inglourious Basterds

8 nominations
A Single Man

7 nominations
Up in the Air

5 nominations
The Hurt Locker

4 nominations
Crazy Heart
It's Complicated

3 nominations
Julie & Julia

2 nominations
Away We Go
(500) Days of Summer

1 nomination
Sunshine Cleaning
Avatar
Nine

Anything surprising on this list, readers? I'm a little surprised at how much I loved Inglourious Basterds and how much I didn't actually like The Hurt Locker--seriously, only 5 nominations and no Best Picture? Also, quirky comedies actually did pretty well. What shocked you? What makes you want to vomit on this list? Take it to the comments!