Sunday, November 29, 2009

Even a Blind Oscarologist Finds Gold

OSCAR SEASON! Anyone who knows me even slightly well can attest to the fact that this is my favorite time of year. Soon enough, I'll start blogging in-depth about the season, but here are my preliminary thoughts on the big six races, all involving acting, directing, and producing.

Best Actor
This race is looking like it could go three ways: Colin Firth in A Single Man, George Clooney in Up in the Air, and Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart. Firth's performance is looking like the strongest, considering it's a period piece performance as a gay man and Sean Penn just won for nearly the same thing, but then again, maybe too much of a good thing is terrible. Bridges' performance is a little Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler, and as we just found out, Oscar doesn't really like that. Since he's a major superstar in a no-frills performance that is looking like 'best-of-career' type work, I'll go against the grain and say Clooney.

Best Actress
Another race that comes down to three possibilites, and they're about as different as can be. The ingenue versus the natural versus the legend: Carey Mulligan in An Education, Gabourey Sidibe in Precious, and Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia. In a rare instance, I've actually seen all three frontrunner performances, but really, that doesn't matter. A good Oscarologist doesn't allow his views of a performance to delude his predictions. Not that I would be able to choose anyway; Mulligan is an absolute joy to watch in An Education, and Streep does wonderful work as always. Sidibe's work as an obese, abused Harlem teen is effortless and pure prosody in motion. So who wins? Think of this year as parallel to the Best Actress race two years ago: Ellen Page, the natural, and Julie Christie, the legend, both lost out to Marion Cotillard, the (sorta) ingenue. Expect that to happen again, with Mulligan the victor, unless An Education loses even more steam than it already has. If that happens, it's Streep. Sidibe won't win. Just a feeling.

Best Supporting Actor
The supporting categories are much more cut-and-dry, with one frontrunner in each and two possible spoilers. Stanley Tucci has had nothing if not an incredible year, with an award-worthy performance in Julie & Julia and a buzzy performance in The Lovely Bones. Slowly but surely, Bones is losing steam, but the performances by Saoirse Ronan (who would have two Oscar nominations by 15 if she does indeed get a nod) and Tucci are still buzzy. He looks like a strong possibility, as does Alfred Molina, fantastic in An Education. My gut feeling is that Christoph Waltz of Inglourious Basterds will probably win this one. Basterds has started to get more hype than will pay off, making it this year's Gran Torino, as Academy voters may love a Holocaust movie, but they don't exactly want their history tampered with. No, Basterds will fall in most races, though I wouldn't count out a Best Picture nod, but the one win that's almost guaranteed is Waltz's. Multilingual, evil, and just plain good, Waltz will make like his name and dance away with this Oscar.

Best Supporting Actress
Anna Kendrick and Penelope Cruz of Up in the Air and Nine are the closest things to spoilers this race has, but quite frankly, it's all sewn up for Mo'Nique. You read that right. Mo'Nique, the plus-size African American comedienne known for such films as Phat Girlz and television series like my guilty pleasure Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, will not only be nominated for an Oscar this year, she will win. No hesitation. The performance is absolutely phenomenal, a villain scarier than even Heath Ledger's Joker in The Dark Knight last year. Mo'Nique's performance causes gasps, disgust, anger, and disdain towards her character, Mary, the mother of Precious, in the movie named for the lead character. Her opening monologue shouting up the stairs is, quite simply put, the best acting I've seen this decade, because she's not acting. Mo'Nique becomes this monster on camera, and anyone who thinks she's still a lightweight isn't paying attention.

Best Director
Aaaand this is where it gets hard. In a year with so much diversity in the directing field, anything goes, really. I do honestly believe that we'll see the first female Best Director winner in Kathryn Bigelow of The Hurt Locker but I have no clue when it comes to the rest of the nominees. Other possibilities include Lee Daniels for Precious, Rob Marshall for Nine, Lone Scherfig for An Education, Jason Reitman for Up in the Air, James Cameron for Avatar, Clint Eastwood for Invictus, Tom Ford for A Single Man, and Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds. My bets are that Reitman, Daniels, Marshall, and Eastwood will get the other nods, but Cameron and Tarantino are tough customers and vets of this field. I really am clueless on this one. Bigelow's my only sure thing.

Best Picture
With a ten-wide field, you're gonna see a lot of Oscarologists screwing this race up this year. Precious, The Hurt Locker, and Up in the Air are set. An Education, Invictus, Nine and Avatar are likely to join. I'd fill out my field with Inglourious Basterds, Up, and A Serious Man, though I wouldn't rule out The Road or A Single Man. It all really depends on the precursory awards and the campaigns. Either Precious, The Hurt Locker, or Up in the Air will win, though, and my money's on Precious.

What are your thoughts, either on the Oscar races or my predictions? Anything I omitted that you think will make it in? Wondering how I make my selections? Take it to the comments!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Miss Manners Disapproves of You Grinding Your Crotch Into Your Backup Dancer's Face

Boys and girls, this hot mess is just too much.

In case you haven't heard, the American Music Awards last week ended in controversy when Adam Lambert, runner-up on American Idol (I like to emphasize that he was the runner-up since no one else seems to realize it) this past season, did several questionable things, including an impromptu makeout session with a keyboardist and, perhaps most hilariously, grinding his male backup dancer's face into his crotch.

...Emily Post just fainted.

Since then, Lambert has toured the interview circuit as both apologetic and rebellious. It seems that he's not über-proud of his performance, but thinks everyone just needs to calm down.

I say this with all due respect: Mr. Lambert, you're the one who needs to calm down.

Don't forget that you hardly won this season of Idol. Yes, in the end, you'll probably sell a million more albums than the soft-spoken winner, Kris Allen, but you're hardly a rock god yet. Your performance was the over-the-top ridiculousness that belongs to those who have paid their dues in the music world. It's great that you're so enthusiastic about being a rock star, but keep your performances in check. It wasn't the most responsible thing to do.

Speaking of responsible... I honestly find the media's performance during this whole catastrophe to be worlds more deplorable than Lambert's.

First: he's not a beacon of hope for the gay community. Not every homosexual or bisexual celebrity has a civic duty to further the cause. To wit: Billie Joel Armstrong, lead singer of Green Day, Neil Patrick Harris, Christina Aguilera, Fergie, and even the late, great Kurt Cobain were all professed homosexuals and bisexuals and none of them are/were expected to further the cause. Why's it so different with Glambert?

Second, and perhaps most importantly: don't turn this whole debacle into something it's not. The controversy isn't about Lambert kissing his male keyboardist; it's about the crotch-meets-face thing. To make the story more controversial, the media has acted as though the makeout session was the objectionable point, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Lambert did nothing but goose his sales for his album For Your Entertainment with this performance. His career is hardly tarnished; a scandal like this does good things for a performer, not bad.

I wish everyone would just kinda grow up about this. Yes, Lambert simulating oral sex was pretty risqué. I certainly hope that he'll think a bit harder next time. But this isn't worth this level of controversy.

Anyone else tired of this whole saga? Who's more at fault: the media or Lambert himself? Sound off in the comments section!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Lifetime: Television for Bored Viewers

Who else psyched themselves out about last week's Project Runway finale? As I was watching the collections walk down the runway, even having talked to some of the designers personally didn't make me any more enthused about the work they had done. Was it well-executed and well-designed? Surprisingly, yes; Carol Hannah Whitfield, Irina Shabayeva, and Althea Harper constructed solid collections. Not Jay McCarroll, Christian Siriano, or Leanne Marshall strong, but maybe Daniel Vosovic, Chloe Dao, or Korto Momulu strong.

I'm not going to completely dissect every collection. For that, you can look to Tom and Lorenzo over at Project Rungay. Here, I'm just going to summarize the season: what went right? what went wrong? what needs to go, go, go before the new season premieres on January 14, 2010?

The Contestants Were Talented...
No question in my mind, the contestants were much more talented this season than last. The final collections showed this best. However, there were too many "make a pretty dress" challenges that stifled their creativity. The best challenge by a mile? The newspaper challenge. That episode stands out in almost every regard as having been the best of the season. Points-of-view came through, the designs were interesting, and most of all, it wasn't a pretty fabric!

...But Damn They Were Boring
As Blayne Walsh from last season would say, this crop of designers is dullicious. I honestly don't think I'll remember them come the end of next season. Well... I'll remember Christopher, Gordana, and Carol Hannah. They all gave me interviews, so I like them. And Irina. She's too fabulous-but-evil to forget. But still: 4 out of 16 designers? My memory's incredibly good, so that number is dismal.

...Not much else, actually. Sorry to disappoint. Being in LA really destroyed this season, but Lifetime's already corrected that for next season. The lawsuit is over, which was the major drain on this season. The judges are back every week, with no one missing a day, so no more whackadoodle judging. So...yeah. They've kinda self-repaired already. All it comes down to is casting and the challenges. Hopefully, Bunim/Murray's production has improved in that regard.

And that's it! The Project Runway aspect of this blog is closed for this season. Soon enough, I'll start up my Oscar blog again (and boy do I have some thoughts on that), and the Runway blog will start up again when the new season premieres. Yes, that means the two will coincide, so I'll be plenty busy come next winter!

Friday, November 13, 2009

It's Not Swine Flu!

Oh, thank God! Carol Hannah Whitfield may have had a stomach bug going into New York Fashion Week on Project Runway, but at least it wasn't swine flu (as I had said it might be). She did look more than a little worn out, however, as she struggled to work on her collection while fellow finalists Irina Shabayeva and Althea Harper sniped at each other.

Not a whole lot happened in this episode design-wise... and not a whole lot happened drama-wise! So... let's start the show! (Heidi Klum is the eternal optimist, after all.)

The Home Visits
These are always a lot of fun. Tim Gunn, advisor extraordinare, visits the designers at their homes to check in on the progress of their collections and do something always a tad silly. (Greatest PR moment of all time, in my opinion? Seeing Tim with Korto Momulu's very African family last season. "This is adorable!" Tim said at the time about her Little Rock, Arkansas home in a way only Tim Gunn could.)

The visit to Carol Hannah's upstate New York place of residence was probably the best. What Althea and Irina lack in personality, Carol Hannah makes up in droves. Putting Tim in a floral apron and making him bake? Genius!

The other home visits were dull as dirt. Brooke Hogan proves to be a worthless addition to this finale once again, as her designs are aimless and the home visit, designed to make the contestants' personalites shine through, was an epic snooze. Irina's was marginally better, due to the shocking revelation that she and her sister are the same person (seriously, their mother wouldn't even be able to tell them apart) and that her imaged T-shirts were more or less plagiarized. So what does she do? Write reasons why to love New York City lifted straight from a New York Magazine piece! (Point to Tom and Lorenzo of Project Rungay for figuring that one out.) More on that later.

Carol Hannah's Illness: Side Effects Include Boredom

Too bad Carol Hannah was sick this episode. We were left with the awkward silence of Brooke Hogan and Shabbadabadoo. (And no, I'm not suddenly shifting alliances to Carol Hannah because she agreed to an interview when Irina didn't. Why do you ask?) I miss the anguished, furious, "Everybody hates you, Wendy!" of Season 1, the expression of hatred from Chloe Dao to Santino Rice in Season 2, the accusations of cheating in Season 3, and even Kenley Collins' awkward apology in Season 5. These girls don't know how to make drama for the cameras outside of the confessional.

Seriously, guys, Carol Hannah's puke was more exciting than the rapport between the designers. You can undoubtedly see the handprint of new production company Bunim/Murray this season. These guys are the same ones that have long produced The Real World, so it's no wonder we've wound up with three pretty women low on personality in the finale. (Every time they giggle as a group, Christian Siriano dies a little bit on the inside.)

Next season is rumored to be much better (and in NYC again, thank God), but it would take a miracle to save this show right now. It's just so boring!

At Least the Clothes are Pretty
Usually, the clothes aren't the highlight of a Project Runway season. Hell, last season, they were practically an afterthought compared to the Kenley drama. However, this season, the saving grace has been the designers' ability to produce consistent, pretty stuff. Nothing too exciting, just solid. Now, going into the finale, there are at least two looks that really, really excite me. Surprise: neither of them comes from Brooke Hogan! Check out the next post (Collect Them All) if you wanna know which two.

But seriously, here's the crux of the matter. Fans of the show all over are in a tizzy over this season because of the production. Never before has the metaphorical hand of the producers left so many fingerprints all over the show. Shirin Askari, Nicolas Putvinski, Ra'mon Lawrence Coleman, and Epperson (so cool he had only one name) were all shafted to the side due to exactly two things: producer manipulation to keep Designated Straight Male Logan Neitzel in the competition, and the ridiculously off-base judgments of the designers this season. Both of which can be drawn back to the production efforts of Bunim/Murray.

Understand that most PR fans can go on for hours about the producer manipulation on this show, but I'm gonna do my best to summarize.

History Will Repeat Itself
First, a history lesson for you. Never let anyone tell you that producers of reality shows don't pick favorites. From Season 1 of this show, the producers'/judges' pets have been obvious. (And no, they're not always one and the same.) Back then, Austin Scarlett and Kara Saun were described by one contestant as "the golden children," but that's incorrect with regard to Austin. Looking back, the judges didn't really like him that much. He wound up on the bottom (don't say it) more than most remember, and won one challenge because his model was willing to put out. (That's a little blunt, I know, but go watch Model Clients from Season 1 again and see how deplorable Melissa, a 16-year old girl was acting towards a journalist and the guest judge.) Really, the producer pet was Jay, and the judge pet was Kara. Still, tragic mess Wendy slid along to the finale, creating the most real drama this show's ever seen, so in my opinion, the producers tampered with this season the least.

That came to a crashing halt the next year. There was rampant producer manipulation in letting Santino Rice stay as long as he did. Three separate times he deserved to go home, and three separate times he was saved for seemingly no reason. Seeing Nick Verreos, a strong, modern designer go home in favor of this idiot was especially hard. Meanwhile, the judges loved no one more than Daniel Vosovic, who was a good designer, if a little Wal-Mart for my tastes. (Target ain't havin' none of that! Represent!)

Seasons 3 through 5 is where the producers really amped it up with regard to Fashion Week. Jeffrey Sebelia, the producers' pet, and Michael (now Mychael, just to annoy me) Knight, the judges' pet, wound up in the bottom two on the final challenge, while Uli Herzner, who no one on that production team liked, sailed to an easy victory. So what do they do? They institute the tool that would soon become the bane of every fanatic's existence: not eliminating anyone on the final challenge.

In fact, they did it three times. Again in Season 4 to save Rami Kashou, and in Season 5 to save Kenley Collins.

They didn't do it this season, but instead of saving four designers, the producers just sent Gordana Gehlhausen home for, um, no reason whatsoever.

And don't get me started on the judging. I'm sorry, but if you're employed by a show to be a permanent judge, you rearrange your schedule so that you can be there for at least half the episodes. (Not so much referring to Nina Garcia on this one, who just had a really bad year and is trying to keep her job at Marie Claire by doing it, but to Michael Kors, who was getting "inspired" or some crap like that.) Why couldn't the judges show? Because some idiot at Bunim/Murray thought it would be a good idea to move the show to Los Angeles. They sure fixed that one in a hurry.

This is what we're left with. A season devoid of personality, filled with pretty, harmless designers. Snore.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Collect Them All

Double post again, but beware, readers. Here there be spoilers. (Hey, Kenyon, that's what's written on the edge of my map!)

Next week the looks I'm about to discuss will be shown as part of the Bryant Park Fashion Week finale on Project Runway. In case you weren't aware, Runway was stuck in legal limbo during the show's filming, so back in January (?!) when these collections walked the Bryant Park runway, none of the designers were associated with their looks. However, now that the final models have been chosen, we can be confident as to which collection belongs to which designer.

I won't be discussing every look here; for that, you can check out Tom and Lorenzo's blog at I'll only discuss highlight (and lowlight) looks. If you want to keep the suspense before the finale, don't read this post, but of course come back and read it after the finale has aired. If you're interested in my thoughts, read on...

Althea Harper's Collection
Not my favorite collection of all time, folks. To me, this collection was monotonous, somewhat on the low end of things, as in very Wal-Mart, and didn't really look like $8,000 worth of clothes. Of course, there were exceptions to the rule, like...

...this fantastic piece. Well-made and dramatic in design, it was made in an interesting fabric and really ended the show well. Props for putting it on signature model Tanisha Harper, too. Unfortunately, this was the exception piece instead of the rule, as most of the collection was filled with stuff like...

...this. Hideous. Tight, shiny, and cheap-looking is not aiming high, Brooke Hogan! I'm very antagonistic towards this whole leather jumpsuit look, and the headbands (which were prevalent throughout her collection) aren't classy. They make the collection look like workout gear. This is the collection you wanted to send down at Bryant Park, Althea? Too bad this normally tasteful designer failed so epically.

Carol Hannah Whitfield's Collection
Now this is what I'm talking about. This was a tasteful collection that was cohesive and well-executed.

Not this look, particularly, but...

Seriously, this design isn't a showstopper. It looks like something more out of Althea's trashy collection than one of Carol Hannah's tasteful pieces. But here's the good news...

Yeah. Very good news.

This detailing on the bust is Carol Hannah's signature, but she's never done it better than this look. The rusching is just impeccable. I really, really liked this piece, and again, the designer chose the right finale piece for the right model. I've never loved Lisa Blades as a model, but she looked great in this dress.

I'm torn on this piece. The shaping of the tulle is undoubtedly innovative, but is it really tasteful? There's no question that this piece is ridiculously unwearable, but not all the looks have to be functional. This is fashion, and sometimes, the avant-garde borders on hilarious. It is definitely chic and definitely avant-garde, which I'm naturally drawn towards but I'm still undecided. Regardless, this is a piece that really intrigues and interests me. What do y'all think?

This I absolutely love. I think this look is just great. I love the color, the design is just great, and the construction is impeccable. Carol Hannah Whitfield doesn't get any better than this, and I question a little bit why this wasn't the finale piece. Not to say that her finale wasn't great, but this? This is spectacular.

Irina Shabayeva's Collection
Here's where the magic happens. For me, Irina's collection is so far and away the best of these. It's coherent, cohesive, indicative of the times, and beautifully constructed. Above all else, when I look at this collection, I can see Irina Shabayeva.

The detailing on this dress can be seen elsewhere in her collection, but nowhere is it done better. This was Irina's finale piece, and rightfully so, as it is her best, most dramatic piece. A work of art walking, this was a near-perfect piece, only ruined by the one element I would have removed from her entire collection: the hat. It's really tacky and not very expensive looking, and luxury is Irina's signature. Without it, this piece would have been a masterpiece. Now, it simply has to settle for showstopper.

Many complained about the excess of black in this collection, and certainly pieces like this are a little too black. However, I didn't mind this piece. I actually quite loved it. It's a real life-possible look, though the buyer would have to live in a tundra and have a fortune to spend, but still... It's cozy and well-made, and a greater reflection of her collection.

This is great. I love the sweater (an Irina signature), and underneath is a cool T-shirt with writing on it. It's innovative, interesting, and in a weird way could work for real-world buyers. I love this piece especially because there's no hat! (Sorry, Irina, but the hats are really horrible.)

Now in this case, the hat actually might be the best thing. I have no idea why Irina's taste faltered so badly on this look. Was it required of all three designers to have a tacky leather look in their collections? If so, this is Irina's. It's really horrible and ugly. Sorry, Shabbadabadoo.

So who wins? It definitely ain't Brooke Hogan. I'm sorry, but that collection just isn't up to par. I think there are too many dresses in Two-Name's collection, but she did craft them all very well, so there's hope for her yet. Still, in my mind, Shabbadabadoo is likely the champion of this finale. Her looks are cohesive and consistent, sharp and stylish, and with this collection, Irina deserves to win this season of Project Runway.

Friday, November 6, 2009

She's Not Here to Make Friends, Just Clothes

Three will go on to compete at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, and two will be out. For the first time in four seasons, that's exactly how it went, too. Only three will take part in this year's finale, which meant that a tough cut had to be made. Unfortunately, it was the wrong one.

Episode Twelve: The Art of Fashion

The challenge was more or less a direct copy of a challenge from two seasons ago: go to a museum to get inspired and create a look of your choice. Yes, it gives the designers a lot of creative freedom, but historically, the loosely-guidelined challenges create the worst looks. Today wasn't really any exception. The judges couldn't even declare a high and low group; everyone was either in or out. As a result, scores for the final three remained static.

Michael Kors was gone again, which really infuriated me. A judge should never be absent for the first or last runway show of the season. The judging has been totally ridiculous this season anyway, and this was just the icing on the cake.

Two had to go tonight, and the two with the worst designs were Althea "Brooke Hogan" Harper and Christopher "Minnesota Nice" Straub. Even the judges agreed. So, of course, the two going home were Christopher and... Fraulein Gehlhausen?! What?!?

Althea Harper
Yes, somehow, the Bland Yet the Beautiful made it through to the final three despite her train wreck of a dress. The construction (as it always is, honestly) was a mess, the design was uninspired and dull, the top was an absolute mess, and it was by far her worst entry in weeks of competition. Obviously, the judges gave up their basic mission to judge only on the current week's design, because they couldn't give Gordana a good reason why this bimbo made it over her. I really despise Althea's designs not because she's bad, but because she's dull. Plus, she's a copycat with a bad attitude. (This, of course, coming from a staunch Irinaphile.)

Irina Shabayeva
YES! My girl made it through! She might be a bitch, and it's unfortunate that she's been saddled with the "not here to make friends" label, but in truth, she isn't. She's here to make good clothes, which she's done on a regular basis. Yes, I wish the length on her outfit this week would have been a bit shorter, but it was innovative and interesting. She obviously suffers from the occasional failure in taste, but look at season three champ Jeffrey. The guy was one giant styling error. Shabbadabadoo still makes the best stuff week in and week out, and has three wins to show for it. Assuming she wins (which she will), she'll have the highest score of any contestant in the history of Project Runway. That's damn good. Plus, she hates Brooke Hogan as much as I do. What will they do when Carol Hannah gets sequestered next week?

Carol Hannah Whitfield
Poor Two-Name Whitfield. Makes it all the way to Bryant Park, producing what was clearly the best look of this episode, and then she gets sick next week. Certainly it won't stop her collection from walking the runway, but what happens in a situation like this? Can she even be at the event if what she has is that contagious? Is anyone else thinking it's swine flu? Fashion Week would have taken place in January/February, which was exactly when all this swine flu stuff started. I would hate to see Carol Hannah get sick for her big debut, because the girl has had the greatest evolution over the course of competition, and I'm proud of her accomplishments, because her last four dresses have been impeccable. Feel better, Two-Name!

Gordana Gehlhausen
UGH! What the hell, Project Runway? I know my articulation is failing me, but I'm just so furious at this decision. Seriously, at least in past seasons, the producers BS'ed their way to getting the designers they wanted in the finale. It's true: three years ago, in a desperate attempt to keep Jeffrey and Michael when their plans to axe Uli went awry, they sent all final four designers to Fashion Week. Two years ago, when Rami was in jeopardy, they made Chris, the rightful third place finisher, face off with him in the equivalent of a fashion duel, and of course the lovable costume designer lost to the polished Israeli. Last year, to keep Kenley and Korto, they sent Jerell home in a desperate last-ditch extra challenge. Now, they simply BS the judging and send home Gordana. I wasn't her biggest fan by a long shot, but I am a fan of fair judging, and this decision was absolute bull.

Christopher Straub
Poor Minnesota Nice is kind of an afterthought now. While it's sad things got to this point, I still respect Christopher's skill. He did create some nice clothes early in the competition. I still think he just got psychologically beaten down. Who knows what exactly happened to him, but I think now was exactly the right time for him to go.

My Final Three: Irina Shabayeva, Carol Hannah Whitfield, Gordana Gehlhausen
My Auf: Althea Harper, Christopher Straub

For the remaining finalists, here are the scores:

Irina Shabayeva: 9 IN
Althea Harper: 7 IN
Carol Hannah Whitfield: 6 IN
Gordana Gelhausen: -2 OUT
Christopher Straub: -3 OUT

Irina and Althea's fight isn't really worth much mention, so I'm not gonna delve into it. Suffice it to say that I'm just livid over the elimination, so I'm cutting this post short. I'll post after next week's episode, then one more time to analyze the final looks from Fashion Week. We'll see how things work out with Carol Hannah's illness next week, but for now, sound off in the comments. Did Althea's season-long performance excuse the crap judging tonight? Or did Gordana get the raw end of this deal?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Things I Learned at the St. Mary's Hall 2009 Varsity Drama Tournament

Double post. It's quite exciting, I know.

This is for the Varsity Drama team and everything we learned this weekend. Enjoy, guys, and add your own below!

- Curly hair is catnip to women dressed as cats

- You can only bring the rain in gangsta tights

- Model walking to a DX round helps

- Kidnappers inspire others to do DI

- “Tuts my barreh!”

- I Googled them. And SafeSearch was off.

- Even down-home boys judge DX

- The word “bitch” makes OO competitors laugh

- “If there’s a camel up a hill…”

- Cambria Suites overcharges for water ($2?!)

- 12-year olds giving approving nods are great confidence boosters

- Don’t compliment a kidnapper’s DI, lest you be the next

- Barbie’s got a new boyfriend!

- Thigh rape

- Pumpkinhead may cause hyena-esque laughter

- Iconic lines are fun to come up with (“I’m crazy, you bastard”)

- Briefcases apparently are shady

- Oh, look! There’s Precious!

- “Where’s the fracking lower school?” St. Mary’s is impossible to navigate

- Dance fail

- “There are only 26 Chik-Fil-A sandwiches left! So…yeah.”

- Tropical priest

- ‘Yahhh!’ – the by-product of a seizure