This is How You Win and Lose Oscars

For fun on this Oscar morning-after... How does one win an Oscar?

Make miniseries that win Emmys, then do the exact same thing with your movie!

Make a trailer with ordinary people talking about your movie!

Make out with an equally hot young actress!

Pose in faux fur next to a swimming pool!

But most importantly...

 

On that note... How does one lose an Oscar?

Embody a fully fleshed-out but unlikable character.

Through improvisation and method acting and getting naked.

Put yourself in grave danger while not dancing.

Be funny.

...you know, I don't even want to joke about how this happened.

More thoughts on last night's "festivities" to come. I still have a positive view on the show as a whole, but the wins are starting to grate on me a bit (as you can tell). And we're going to talk through exactly how The King's Speech secured the top two wins while only winning a third of the awards it was up for. No Best Picture winner with twelve or more nominations has ever walked away with fewer wins--how'd it happen this time?

The answer to that and more later this week. For now, laugh and enjoy.