Monday, January 12, 2009

Deal with It, Cate Blanchett

I didn't fare too badly in my Golden Globe picks, going 10/16 in picking the winners either in the Should or Will Win categories. But this post isn't a scorecard for me. No, it's highlights from last night's show, as well as the big question: how does this affect the Oscars?

Ricky Gervais' Introduction
Give this man a show! Again! The Extras funnyman did exactly what he did at the Emmys last year: became the funniest presenter of the night. He riffed on Kate Winslet about her role on Extras ("Hey, Winslet! I told you! You do a Holocaust movie, win an award!"), swigging beer onstage, and telling the noisy movie stars to "Hush!". And Hugh Jackman is hosting the Oscars...why?

Hawkins' Horrendous Speech
It's a hard task to get so drunk you reach the stage of incoherent blather in the first 30 minutes of the show. Well done, then, Sally Hawkins. You've just killed your Oscar chances.

Winslet's First Win
I won't harp on the fact that Winslet should never have won for this substandard movie version of an incredible novel, and just be happy that she finally won after five nominations. But seriously, is she REALLY better than Viola Davis in Doubt or Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona?

They Gave Out TV Awards?
Could've fooled me. And, of course, when they did give out such awards, they went to big TV movies and miniseries. That is, until later...

Tracy Morgan. That is all.
Morgan's speech was easily the funniest part of the night. His deal with 30 Rock creator (and eventual Best Actress in a TV Comedy/Musical winner) Tina Fey that if Barack Obama became the President-elect, he would become the new face of the show allowed for Morgan's hysterics to come through. Major points for the random attack on Cate Blanchett.

That Guy Heath Ledger Finally Wins Something
Let this be known: I loved Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight. I think he was possibly the greatest actor of our generation. He deserves every award he gets. But am I really the only one who is over Nolan's half-assed acceptance speeches for Ledger and the faux-surprise of the audiences?

Farrell the Affable Irish Brogue
In both his presentation and acceptance last night, Colin Farrell was funny, affable, and appreciative. Plus, I love that he could actually make fun of his previous drug use, as opposed to the ever-irritating Mickey Rourke.

Speaking of Rourke...
I loved The Wrestler. Really, I did. But there is one reason and one reason ALONE that Penn did not win tonight: the HFPA is a group of sixty-something homophobes. Look for the Oscar to go to Penn, and for good reason. (Oh, and Darren Aronofsky? No one knows who you are. You're not bettering your now-developing image by flicking off the camera during Rourke's speech.)

Drinks Just Keep On Flowin' (Flowin')/Presenters Just Keep On Stumblin' (Stumblin')
I'll let you find the individual drunken fits, but my favorite goes to Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman, who were totally bombed and totally unfunny onstage during their presentation. They're real actors! They should know better.

Winslet's Second Win
So much for that Anne Hathaway website thing. Winslet's win here should have some effect on the Oscar race, but don't forget that the HFPA are totally in the tank for foreigners. The Oscars will be more likely to give it to Hathaway or Streep.

Rainn Wilson and Blake Lively
I don't know what's funnier: Wilson's one-liner ("Hello. We're TV actors.") or bloggers mistakenly calling Lively "Hayden Panettiere". Aheh.

I find it hilarious that A) the Jonas Brothers were given the Animated Feature trophy to give out, B) that on the red carpet, as they passed each other, Miley Cyrus and her mother wouldn't acknowledge the Brothers' existence, and C) that the oldest and most interesting brother, Kevin (I think, please don't hit me if I got that wrong), hasn't ditched the two douche bags formerly known as Nick and Joe (again, I think).

Mad Men Stars Get Beaten By HBO Vampire, Therapist
Well, at least it won Best Drama Series.

Oscar Frontrunners Come Up Empty Handed
Sorry, Frost/Nixon, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Doubt. We still love you despite your lack of Globes.

The Best Moments of the Night: The Slumdog and Rock Sweeps
Slumdog Millionaire goes 4 for 4. 30 Rock goes 3 for 3. You can't get much better than that.

So what effect does this have on the Oscar race? In all honesty, absolutely none. Winslet will probably win one of the two awards she did tonight, but she won't win both. Rourke will get soundly beaten by Penn. Ledger... well, he'll still win. And Slumdog Millionaire will win each category it won last night (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Score).

I will point out one possible longshot that now has a chance to get into the Best Picture race. As has been the case the past two years, a smaller, funny movie makes it into the big race (Little Miss Sunshine, Juno). If any movie will do it this year, it's the Golden Globe winner for Best Picture, Comedy/Musical: Vicky Cristina Barcelona. But perhaps it's only a pipe dream.

Regardless, nominations for the Oscars are ten days away. Keep watching Awkward is What We Aim For as well as my Facebook to see future Oscar coverage!

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